A Visit from the Warden?
by Sierra.Gem
Summary: So I'm in love with the Warden, and this is a stupid thing about if we met. Oneshot, but I'll continue it if anyone asks.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, I'm kinda in love with the Warden cause I just saw Superjail! for the first time last night and it was like love at first sight. The thing is...I wrote this because my family has been having a violent screaming match all day and I've kinda been fantasizing about the Warden taking me away from them. Also, don't take this seriously, it was kinda meant to be stupid, and if he's OOC, I've only seen one episode, dude. If you want this to continue, it can...

It was 1:00 AM. I was drowsily watching Adult Swim on my couch. Then a show I hadn't seen before came on.  
"Superjail?"  
I watched more. It was hilarious. Then I saw him...and I fell in love.  
Wait...it's just a cartoon character. This Warden guy is just an animation...but the things I'd do to him...wait, no! NO NO NO! It's just a cartoon.  
I fell asleep, still thinking about him against my better judgment.  
The next morning, I was fast asleep, dreaming about evil books and planting pixelated trees, when I woke up to a singsongy "Wakey-wakey..."  
That voice sounded familiar. I opened my eyes.  
"KURT MOTHERFUCKING VONNEGUT!" I jumped and punched him in the face instinctively. The Warden?! In front of my very eyes?! But he was...but...what?  
"Dammit!" He covered his black eye. "That strength...it reminds me of HER...but you could be a more than suitable replacement." Hearts filled his eyes.  
"Okay, I'm not seeing this. I will close my eyes and he will be gone. Three, two, one..." I opened my eyes and he was closer to me.  
"Still here, sweet!"  
"SHIT!" I ran away.  
He turned out to be so flexible that he could stretch himself out in front of me. "Don't run, dear. How do you feel about this?"  
"I feel...like..." My Rent Head started going off. "IT'S LIKE I'M BEING TIED TO THE HOOD OF A YELLOW RENTAL TRUCK BEING PACKED IN WITH FERTILIZER AND FUEL OIL PUSHED OVER A CLIFF BY A SUICIDAL MICKEY MOUSE!"  
"What a vivid description..."  
"Now that I got that out of my system...sorry. I mean I actually think you're cute."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, you can stay here, I guess."  
"We're gonna get along just fine."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, this story is just gonna be a lot of weird, nonsensical stuff shipping me and the Warden cause I love him love him love him. Anything you wanna see us do?

I was watching Superjail on a late night with the Warden, trying to see if maybe that would be the way to return him to his universe. Alice appeared on screen and hearts were in his eyes  
"Ah, Alice...what a woman! Unfortunately, the fire that burns in my heart and my loins is one she does not return." He sighed.  
I actually felt kinda bad. "Aww. Well, I think you're pretty cute, I guess. For a cartoon."  
"Really?" He floated into my lap.  
"Yeah, sure." It was kinda sweet. It was pretty pervy and wrong, but the closest thing I'd pretty much ever come to romance.  
"KAITLYN WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?!"  
The Warden shapeshifted into a pillow when my mom came in the room.  
"Heh, Mom...funny story..."  
"GO. TO. SLEEP. NOW."  
"Fine!" I headed upstairs with the Warden pillow.

My alarm went off. "Uggggggghhhhhhh..." I punched it. "Shut the hell up."  
"RENT."  
"WHERE WHAT WOULD YOU LIGHT MY CANDLE?" I stirred, but it was just him.  
"I figured out your weakness." He magically filled my room with RENT posters and snapped them away a second later.  
"So what am I gonna do with you while I have to go to fucking school?"  
"Well...I could go with you."  
"That's a terrible...actually, that's not so bad. My school is like a jail anyways, and this teacher I have is like a warden except she's evil."  
"She...so like the Mistress." He sighed. I'd seen an episode with her, the guard of the jail's female counterpart jail, so I knew what he was referring to. "A strong woman, but no match for me."  
"Didn't you bone her?"  
"Don't remind me."  
"Anyways...I gotta get ready. Time for school, you poor, poor sucker."


End file.
